04/08/17
So i have started this blog today more to keep up with journalling and getting things off my chest. I have had a hard week! I am currently in the process well the first week of trying to lose some weight of which i have gained over the past 8 years. 30kg to be precise... My body has done me well in giving me 2 beautiful baby boys but now i feel its time to make it look the way i want it to look. In this first week i am already finding that the balance is going to be so much harder than i thought especially considering my milk supply is dropping significantly and i am doing all i can besides consuming extra calories to try and gain it back. \
Things are getting on top of me, i feel like i take on everyone elses woes but i cant palm mine off to anyone, hence why i started this blog in the first place... lol
I love my Children and i love my husband but feel like i have lost of me in the process... Dont get me wrong i wanted to get married and have kids i thought thats what my life was made to be, but suddenly i would love something more and i just have to find what that is... I keep giving in to what my husband wants and expects of me i am such a pleaser in so many ways but then i never get the same treatment back and its hard. I seem to always feel like a failure even though i know i am succeeding. I dont love myself and thats something i need to find out how to do cause otherwise i am going to be HUGE and not do a thing about it cause i dont have the motivation. I feel as though i would more than likely lose it if i was divorcing my husband as i would want to look good for someone else, but because i am comfortable and safe in my marriage and i know he loves me i dont seem to give a shit.
I know ill get there i just have to work for it....
Currently i am sitting at 115.1kg
lets see how i feel about this in a week....
Lets do This
xx Amy
Things are getting on top of me, i feel like i take on everyone elses woes but i cant palm mine off to anyone, hence why i started this blog in the first place... lol
I love my Children and i love my husband but feel like i have lost of me in the process... Dont get me wrong i wanted to get married and have kids i thought thats what my life was made to be, but suddenly i would love something more and i just have to find what that is... I keep giving in to what my husband wants and expects of me i am such a pleaser in so many ways but then i never get the same treatment back and its hard. I seem to always feel like a failure even though i know i am succeeding. I dont love myself and thats something i need to find out how to do cause otherwise i am going to be HUGE and not do a thing about it cause i dont have the motivation. I feel as though i would more than likely lose it if i was divorcing my husband as i would want to look good for someone else, but because i am comfortable and safe in my marriage and i know he loves me i dont seem to give a shit.
I know ill get there i just have to work for it....
Currently i am sitting at 115.1kg
lets see how i feel about this in a week....
Lets do This
xx Amy
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